According to the Facts of Drugs, A Parent’s Guide, HSE “A drug is any substance (other than food) that alters the way a person thinks, feels, or acts. This includes medicinal drugs and also alcohol, tobacco, and caffeine”.
Many parents think that young people use drugs if they are having problems. This may not be the case. Young people often use drugs to experiment, have fun, or to relax and unwind. Other factors may be involved such as:
- They are curious about the effects of drugs.
- They enjoy the short term effects.
- Their friends use them.
- To cope with difficult situations including boredom and stress.
- As part of growing up, pushing boundaries and rebelling.
- Drugs are easily available and affordable.
Unfortunately, we live in a drug taking society. Whilst there is a lot of concern about illegal drugs, the most harm and the greatest risk to young people comes from using legal drugs, such as alcohol, cigarettes, and inappropriate use of medicines.
Some young people will try illegal drugs, but it is good to know that many of them do not go on to use illegal drugs regularly and the majority will not develop serious problems.
Parents are fearful that their children will use drugs and may often react with anger, shock, guilt, denial, and blame. It is important to take positive action to help and support our young people in these difficult times. One of the most important ways in which we can help is to keep the lines of communication open.
What can I do if I know that my child is using drugs on a regular basis?
When we become aware that our child is using drugs is it best to take action. The first step is to clarify what they are using and what harm/impact this is having on them.
The next step could be having a family meeting with the child. It is important to do this at a time where we feel calm (and they are presenting as calm too) and there will be no interruptions. It is pointless doing the meeting when they are under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
The following areas can be covered:
1)Indicate our care and concern- let your child know that you are concerned and your reasons why. Let them know that you know that they are using drugs/alcohol.
2)Stick to the facts – It is not helpful to make accusations or assumption, stick to what you can observe (e.g., lack of motivation, changes in behaviour or appearance).
3) Hold the young person responsible for their choices – state your expectations as parents e.g., the boundaries and rules that you expect them to stick to.
4) Offer support and put sanctions in place-offer as much support as the young person needs but also let them know the sanctions that you will put in place if they do not agree to certain tasks and actions. We cannot make or child change, each person controls their own behaviour but if they do make changes give them credit for this and if they do not, we have choices about what to do next.
5)Talk to other parents – they can be a great resource for information and support.
6)Seek professional help – you may feel the need for professional help, mentioned below are details for the Community Substance Misuse Team.
If you feel that further help and support is required CSMT (Community Substance Misuse Team) provides a non-judgemental service for parents and young people who are impacted by substance misuse in the Mid-West. You can telephone the office tohave an informal chat or to self-refer on 061 318904. The office is centrally located in Arthur’s Quay. Another option is to access the website on www.casp.ie/csmt-services Community Substance Misuse Team can also refer on to other agencies if required.
General Tips for Parents
• Actions speak louder than words. Be a good role model, think about your own use of alcohol, tobacco, medications, and other drugs. Do our young people have access to legal drugs in our home?
• Show that you are interested in your children’s lives, start this when they are young. ‘Chatto them, don’t interrogate them’.
• Children who have hobbies and interests are less likely to get involved with drugs, support them with their interests and give praise and encouragement.
• Get to know your children’s friends and make your home a welcome place for them.
• Communication is key, listen to your children’s opinions and ideas (even if you do not agree with them), by doing this they will feel more able to approach you with any problems.
• Parents do not have all the answers, but you can be honest with your children, give them the information that they ask for as this can be used as an opportunity for discussion.
• Show your children that you love them, this will help them feel good about themselves and spend time together as a family. This will help them build their self-esteem and confidence.
• Teach your children to behave responsibly, negotiate and make choices, this is a gradual process and involves building trust between parents and children.
• With the increase of suicide and the links with drugs and alcohol it is important that we encourage our children to identify someone they feel comfortable talking with if they cannot talk to us, e.g., an older sibling, friend or relative.
